This is not the post I want to do about how MaryAnn and I got together. I just wanted to put record my Mothers' Day tribute from Facebook here. I love and honor the mothers in my life:

"I didn't post anything on Mothers' Day because it was just plain busy helping with dinner and all. Mary Ann and I had a fun time cooking for and feeding our combined children, who are the best children because they are blessed with the best mothers possible. I just want to say that, because of the women in my life, I am the most blessed man in the world....ever!. I have the most awesome wife who is an amazing mother to her children and puts up with me and my children as she continues to increase her uplifting and wonderful influence on us (I love her SO MUCH, but more on her later). I have, on the 'other side' the most amazing mother to my children and who still looks after them and whom I know has helped with securing some of the miracles that have happened to me since her passing. I am very thankful to her and love her very much. I have the most amazing mother who raised me (and my dad) to honor and cherish women and treat them with equality and respect, which is what real men do. I have the most amazing sisters and female relations, many of whom are the most wonderful mothers on earth. They all never cease to amaze me. I want to add that MaryAnn Furse is truly amazing in so many ways. She possesses a rare combination of traits and abilities that make life most interesting, educational, fun and adventurous. Sometimes mis-judged, un-appreciated, or treated as less than the Angel from Heaven that she is (which brings out the meaner-than-hell German Shepherd in me), she teaches me about forgiveness and patience...or how an angel can become very honest and dangerous when it is necessary. Often spontaneous, she teaches me about how to have fun and appreciate my surroundings and the blessings of this life. Always compassionate, she un-intentionally schools me about loving God's children when I thought I was so good at it. Always loving, she pulls me straight out of the hell of discouragement, listens to my silliest concerns, and heals my deepest wounds in a moment. She is the greatest teacher (many can attest to that)! I could go on and on and on. She is my Hero and my Angel. I consider myself, honestly, the most blessed man on the face of the Earth to be married to her. I LOVE YOU MaryAnn Furse!!!! THANK YOU for being my friend, my partner and my wife."

One More Among Many

A few months ago I posted an entry expressing my thoughts about my feelings on my wife's untimely death. It can be read here:

https://deserttoad.blogspot.com/2015/09/some-notes-about-nanis-passing.html

As part of that post I outlined some of the miracles with the idea that I wanted to preserve them before they were forgotten. There have been many miracles in my life since then, some of which I will discuss in another entry...hopefully soon. But I want to talk about the miracle of prayer, focusing on one event I want to record which happened not too many days or weeks after that entry (everything for a while her death was a blur, so I don't really remember when it happened). 

I was roaming in the hills near my home at night, as I have been for a decade or so. It's a great thing to go into the desert at night with only the sky to influence you outside your own thoughts and inspirations from outside this physical realm. Prayers seem to reach their destination much easier than when one is surrounded by floor, walls, and ceiling....at least for me.

The slopes I walked were, a few years ago, pure desert over which my dog and I had traveled many times to places of peace and quiet to gaze at the lights, moon and stars. Sometimes a distant flash of lightning or the threat of a closing storm mingled with the colors of a recent sunset made things more interesting. But on this occasion it was a peaceful night, interrupted only by a breeze from the north. I was quite concerned about how to manage, live and raise the children after Nani's death and, upon finding one of my favorite spots, knealt down to pray.

I don't claim, by any means, to be especially in touch with the spiritual realm, but I have much faith in it. Some of this is a result of my grandfather's return from death and sharing some what he was allowed to tell before his final death years later. Some has been influenced by visions and dreams shared by my aunt and others who have been anything but your typical 'whacko' spiritualist types (you can tell I don't really trust many who claim to be "in contact"). Mostly, however, I have my faith in Christ and the impact of spiritually received proofs of the legitimacy of that faith many times over the years to thank. So what I am writing is not to be taken as if from an eccentric. I'm stating what I felt.

As I was praying I was very focused on communicating with my Heavenly Father. I have heard a metaphor comparing the sincerity of a person's prayer with it's ability to actually reach God's ear, that it can be compared to a light, bright or dim in intensity, which He can see shining from the surface of the Earth. I felt my prayer was very bright at this time. I was asking for help with everything I was facing alone now, each child and his or her problems, my job, everything. I was pleading.

During the prayer I found that I was feeling the presence of my late wife, Nani. She was there. I could almost feel where she was standing. I felt that she was concerned, and letting me know that I was being watched over and helped. I couldn't see, hear, or touch anything (though I might have given worlds to hold her), but I could feel her presence. I just stayed and enjoyed the peace of it for a little while and cried. I will never forget that moment. It's been a motivation for me to keep the faith and behave.

Miracles have continued to happen in my life and for my family since then. Most that I can see have to do with being guided to and marrying the most amazing and wonderful woman on this side of Eternity. I have felt and others (including some of Nani's friends) have expressed a feeling that Nani had something to do with that arrangement (I certainly wasn't looking for it, and neither was my present wife. More on this in a later post other than that Nani had told me a few times that if she passed on first she would want me to re-marry). I can't help but wonder if God sent Nani that night to tell me that she was working on things and to be ready for the miracles that have come and that continue to flow. 

I am so grateful to her.

(Nani Lii Furse about 11 or 12 years ago)